You Need to Chill The F*** Out When it Comes to Love

By Hayley.

If you read my last post, you know I, and I’m sure many of you, are struggling looking for Mr. Right. Swiping away, scanning the crowds and constantly making lists of pros and cons whenever you’re approached by the average Joe at the bar. So what can we do to make this whole thing easier on ourselves?

Well, here’s the lesson I’ve been struggling with and I’m going to share with all of you. And don’t take this the wrong way, but…

Chill the f*** out.

Use the loving, and empowering energy you have searching for someone else and and INSTEAD, direct it towards yourself. You want nothing more than to give your heart to someone, but why not make your own heart sparkle? Instead of wanting to cook him a cozy, romantic meal, do it for yourself! Invite some girlfriends over, and have a dinner party.

Boys can smell the crazy on us, trust me.

Just because you are ready for a relationship, does not mean the next guy that approaches you is too.  If you want to attract someone you are really feeling, show him how great you are by being yourself. If you are happy with yourself, people will be far more attracted to you. Most men get scared AF when a woman comes off as direct, and sometimes border line needy. If you are ready for your great love, keep yourself and your options open!

Dating, especially in small towns like the one I live in (link to past post), is not as easy as shooting fish in a barrel. There are eligible men, but don’t get caught up on the first one who gives you attention. If your pros and cons come out early, have reservations. And always ask yourself, is it him, or the idea of him?

I believe everything happens for a reason. Whether there is a God, a Buddha, or Beyonce and Jay Z are really controlling the world (Iluminati, it’s real), the universe is a mysterious maestro. Now, I hate being out of control, and giving all my worries and cares up to fate. It drives me insane even to just sit still for more than ten minutes, but the more and more I force myself to just quit already and let go a little, the less lonely I feel.

If it is supposed to happen, it will happen.

And even if it’s not going to happen, why stress about it now?

I want you to take a moment with me here. Take a breath. Ask yourself these questions.

Where are you in your life right now?  

Are you working in your absolute dream job?

Are you proud of the body you rock?

How are your relationships with your friends, family, or foe’s?

How is your bucket list looking?  Still have some amazing adventures and goals you haven’t quite tackled yet?

 The reason I am making you go through this is because this is what I have been doing with myself lately. I give myself a real hard look in the mirror, and talk to myself. You aren’t in your dream job at the moment, you can do a little more schooling and take more risks. You aren’t rocking your dream body, maybe let’s have some more fitness goals for the new year? Your friendships with your friends and family are great! Let’s keep this up!  And no you haven’t made out with a British boy on a Double Decker Bus in London yet, so let’s get back to that bucket list.

See what I did there? I am taking myself away from worrying about having a boy in my life. At this age, feeling a little boy-crazy is hard because your entire life can revolve around the hunt, and we forget that there is so much more life outside of the hunt. We forget that there is so much more love and life outside of a relationship.

What I am focusing on is learning to chill the f*** out, and better myself. Because let’s be honest, you’ve heard it a million times over and over, but,

you can’t fully love someone until you love yourself.

I know I have a long way to go until I feel that I have fully accepted ME for ME, and I am determined as f*** to meet my forever love, but I know that will come when I am the best version of myself.

So girl, are you up for the challenge?  

Are you ready to chill the f*** out and let fate take its course?

We’re in this together. I promise!

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