I started my blog a little less than a year ago, but F-Perfection has become so much more than that to me. During a time in my life where I was a little frustrated with where I was at, starting a blog as a place where I could share my writing turned things around for me in more ways than I could explain. In the process of starting a blog, which I’ll say was wayharder than I initially thought, I was lucky enough to meet amazing people from all over the place with amazing stories to tell. Ever since I was a little kid, my parents will tell you, I’ve wanted to read and write stories. This was an outlet for that, but now I’m onto my next.
What’s amazing about starting this blog, through becoming unbearably vulnerable and writing about lost friendships and heartbreaks I didn’t quite see coming, is that it made me feel brave. Some of that writing doesn’t exist on the Internet anymore, but like I’ve mentioned I hope that my writing will become part of a larger project some day. My silly stories about being ghosted on Bumble and being led on by some jerk made people laugh, but even more so they touched me by sparking random people to reach out to say “I can so relate” or “this was what I needed to hear today.” That’s what makes walking away from this blog, that I genuinely don’t have time to give the attention it deserves, so hard. But that’s what motivates me to know that we all have stories and they’re all unique.
Sometimes I feel like I live the most average life. And honestly, I probably do, let’s be real. But I’m learning as I go what it means to be 24 and not know what the heck I’m doing. It’s more empowering to know that there are other people out there that feel the same way.
Much of this decision I’ve made stems from me feeling like I was just doing toomuch. I saw myself going in a bunch of different directions in life. I imagined blogging full time and what that could look like, but also wanted to go to school forever, but also wanted to get a job back in public relations, but also move someplace new. I also wanted to give it all up and imagine what it would be like to just do nothing for once. It took a second for me to say to myself: “Sam. First of all, chill. Second of all, step back. What is important to you right now? What are your goals?” I had to reckon with the fact that I can do anything but I CAN’T (and shouldn’t try to) be and do everything. Once I made that decision, I started making the space for good things to start flowing to me. I got real about my future and what I want it to look like. For me, unfortunately, that doesn’t really include blogging. Letting go of what F-Perfection is right now has given me the space, time and mental capacity to go after my even bigger dreams. To me that’s writing a book and living a love-filled life. So writing will stay, but blogging will leave.
Perfection, the very idea of it, is something that I think about every single day. I’m sure you all know this by now if you’ve been following along. It’s something that has consumed me since I was a kid, and something I’ve seen put pressure on so many of the young people in my life. The conversations we have around perfection and the impact of that pressure as a young person is something I’m going to continue to study throughout my career. In fact, it is the foundation of my thesis for my master’s degree. From there, I hope to go on to my PhD and study the way we build meaning around perfection and mental illness from our personal stories, looking at these things from a communication perspective. And I’m so damn excited.
Thank you for all of the amazing support I’ve received over the past year on this blog. It’s changed my life in the best possible way, and I mean that wholeheartedly. I wouldn’t change this experience for the world, and I look forward to sharing with you my stories in some way, shape or form. Thank you for sticking with me as I figured this whole thing out. F-Perfection is not going to disappear, and if you ever need a platform to share your stories, it’s here for you to do, just reach out and let me know.